Is it too dramatic to say I feel like a new person!?
I have been present on social media, as a constant of some kind, since I announced my pregnancy with Axel more than 9 years ago. In the beginning it felt exciting. Connection, expression, a place to share real life. Over time it shifted. Even when I took breaks from posting, parts of my work still required me to be online, connected in some capacity. The constant pull started to consume me. Not just my time, but my peace and my sense of self.
I struggle with comparison. I struggle to quiet the steady hum of opinions that have surrounded my life for years, from the show, from bloggers, opinions, speculation and conspiracies about my relationships, my parenting, and my choices. I understand now that I allowed those voices in, but knowing that does not make them easy to shake off. It takes work to untangle your worth from a comment section.
Comparison with other creators also slips in fast. The constant curation, the perfect aesthetic or the perfect brand message. One reel, one polished post, and the progress I felt in my own lane can feel like it vanishes. Then come the experts. I would scroll through parenting takes, relationship experts, doctors, psychologists, hormone experts, fitness experts, and research summaries that often contradicted one another. One voice insists a method is harmful, another says the opposite. The result is confusion, anxiety, and decision fatigue layered on top of the real work of raising kids.
There is also the pressure to be all the things, all at once. Be calm and organized. Be peaceful and productive. Be available, ambitious, creative, intentional, inspiring, informed, fashionable, healthy, and successful. It is an impossible list. I do not believe we were ever meant to take in this much input, to be constantly fed pieces of everyone’s lives. Even small updates stack into noise.
The hardest part to admit is how the noise began stealing from my motherhood. That is on me. I let a steady stream of current events and tragedies flood my nervous system until I was living in a state of fear. The world felt like it was ending any day. I started sheltering my kids in ways that were not healthy, mistaking overprotection for love while I stayed glued to a screen in the name of staying informed.
So I stepped away. I took a full month off. No posting, no scrolling, no checking in. It was the best decision I have made in a long time. The urgency lifted. The constant pull faded. I did not feel stuck in a dopamine deficit anymore. The constant low-grade anxiety felt gone. I have the patience to sit with my girls and do the mundane tasks that used to make me feel restless. I feel like I can listen to Axel talk about tornadoes, not perfectly, but with more attention and warmth. I started reading again for enjoyment, not for the sake of staying informed on current topics, and that in itself has been so much more edifying.
While maybe other factors were at play, and maybe I was already near burnout, but social media pushed me over the edge and stepping away pulled me back.
Here is what changed. My mind is quieter. My body feels safer. My overwhelm button reset and I can manage little things again. I can notice small moments without trying to package them. I am less reactive to other people’s opinions because I hear my own voice again. I can discern what actually matters to our family, and I can let the rest go.
If you are overwhelmed and the world feels heavy, try putting down the phone. Sounds so silly, but really, PUT IT DOWN. Delete the app for a while. Give your brain and your heart a rest. You will not miss anything that truly matters, but you might finally see what has been in front of you this whole time. The slow, ordinary, beautiful life you are already building. And that, to me, is the point.
We spent a lot of time outside, exploring everything around us. Jojo, of course, enjoyed the water.